Did you know that hoodies and khakis were in style in medieval times? I didn't know that until now, but, according to this movie, it is absolutely true. Peasants in medieval times wore hoodies and khakis. I don't know how I missed that, but director Bryan Singer got it right, and I must commend him for his historical accuracy. Oh, wait...this is a movie involving giants and magic beans...and Stanley Tucci. Guess I can't take it TOO seriously. Here's my review of Jack the Giant Slayer.
Jack (Nicholas Hoult) is a lowly peasant who falls for the princess Isabelle (Eleanor Tomlinson), who is sneaking around town in disguise to escape the empty life of the palace. Jack winds up in possession of some magic beans and is told not to get them wet. Well, guess what? The next day, there's a terrible storm, and one of the beans gets wet. A gigantic mile-high beanstalk emerges from Jack's home. Jack is able to escape, but the princess, who had been visiting him, gets taken away into the sky along with the house. King Brahmwell (Ian McShane) finds out and commissions his royal guard Elmont (Ewan McGregor) and his shifty, suspicious adviser Lord Roderick (Stanley Tucci), along with their men, to climb the beanstalk and find the princess. Jack somehow convinces the king to let him go with them, and the crew climb to the top only to find themselves in the dwelling place of giants, who are holding Isabelle captive. So, it's up to this lowly peasant to ward off the giants and bring the princess home safely.
This one's a tough one for me. Seems like all, or at least, most of the films I've reviewed so far this year, I've had fairly strong opinions about. This, I believe, is really the first time of the year where I feel extremely...indifferent. Did I like the movie? Kinda. Did I dislike the movie? ...Kinda. This seems to be a case where the good and the bad balance each other out nearly perfectly. I liked a good amount of elements in this film, but I also disliked just as much. I'll try my best to be more specific.
Nicholas Hoult, I think, was a good, safe choice for this role. He's an up-and-coming young actor with plenty of charisma, and he did fine. He didn't stand out, but he did his job. The princess was a very stereotypical Princess Peach type of damsel in distress. She really didn't do much outside of follow Jack around, get captured, and scream. Ewan McGregor was enjoyable, but, again, didn't stand out. He did have his moments, though, especially when it came to humor. Speaking of which, let's talk about Stanley Tucci. I love Stanley Tucci, and he was easily my favorite part of the movie. He is hamming it up and having an absolute ball in this role. Every time this movie started getting boring, he would pop up on screen and remind me that, at the very least, some of the cast was having a good time.
Now, let's talk about something I usually don't address very often: effects. I don't usually talk about them, because I usually don't care too much for them. I'm not a big opposer of CGI or anything. As long as it's not too distracting and it's relevant to what's going on, I'm pretty forgiving on that front. But, here, half of the effects, especially when the camera would get closer to the giants and you could see them better, looked like they were straight out of a video game. In fact, there's a CG animated sequence in the beginning telling some of the history of the folklore surrounding giants, and I could probably list off a number of games I've seen with better quality than that sequence. That took me out of the film quite a bit. The one good effect: the beanstalk. When that thing first comes out of the ground and you see it rising into the sky, it's a very cool shot, and it remains very good to look at for the rest of the time. I will give the film credit for that.
Now, I know what a lot of people are gonna be saying at this point. It's intended for a younger audience, so it's gonna be a little less practical. I get that. But that doesn't mean you should put in any less effort with effects or acting or writing. This is what's wrong with a lot of children's movies out there today. People assume that a younger audience means they don't have to work as hard. But, you should always work for your craft. You want to make kids' films? That's great! Do that! But, do it in a way that's not insulting to their intelligence. Give them a competently made movie, and they will learn from it. They will appreciate it so much more than a cash-in with a dozen clichés and cardboard-cutout characters. Treat them with respect. Don't dumb it down for them. Let them grow from watching your movie.
So, overall average cast, average writing, less-than-average effects for the most part; this all adds up to an exceedingly average movie-going experience. I did not feel like this was a worthwhile way to spend two hours, but, at the same time, I can think of a lot worse, especially in the fantasy genre. I just think, if you're really itching to see a fantasy movie, I would urge you to sit this one out and maybe take a chance with Oz the Great and Powerful next week. Who knows? That may end up being complete crap and I may end up biting my tongue, but I actually have a good amount of hope for that one. Either way, don't spend money on Jack the Giant Slayer, and, if you're a parent, don't let your kid spend money on it. Direct them towards more competent films that treat people their age with a sense of respect and understanding. And, as always, thanks for reading!! :D
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