Witches and Casters and Jocks, Oh My: Beautiful Creatures Review

      This is a movie that was almost dismissed ahead of time due to the fact that many believed it to be too close to Twilight. What?? A story about an awkward teenager who falls in love with another even more awkward teenager who turns out to be a supernatural being? AND it's revealed that being together could prove fatal for the both of them, so they're constantly fighting supernatural forces to preserve their love? How could that POSSIBLY be compared to Twilight??? Here's my review of Beautiful Creatures.
     Ethan Wate (Alden Ehrenreich) is an average jock in the small deep South town of Gatlin. One day, a new girl enrolls in his school: Lena Duchannes (Alice Englert), a strange young lady from a bizarre outcast family who are rumored to have other-worldly capabilities. Ethan starts to fall for Lena after giving her a ride home, and the two develop a bond. It's soon revealed to Ethan that Lena and her family are "casters"(known to us common folk as witches), and that Lena is reaching a critical point in her life where she will either be claimed as a light or dark caster, depending on her true nature. The couple find out that Lena loving Ethan puts her in grave danger of losing control of her emotions and, thus, going dark, something her dark mother Sarafine (Emma Thompson) is hoping for, and her light uncle Macon (Jeremy Irons) is trying everything in his power to prevent. So, the battle is on to ensure that Lena is claimed by the right side, while a simultaneous fight is being held by Lena and Ethan to stay together. 
     Well, I'm just gonna get right to it: this is the first big surprise of the year for me, in the best possible way. I enjoyed this movie quite a bit! I'm serious. Everything about this movie was enjoyable. First off, the romance was actually believable...and more than just believable. Human. Real. In a teenager's fantasy movie, I found one of the most realistic romances I've seen in film in a number of years. Ethan and Lena may have supernatural issues to deal with, but the way they deal with it is very real. They argue, they yell, but not in the typical romantic movie style in which argument=break-up. They have their fight, but then they calm down, hug each other, and tell each other it'll be okay. Guess what, Hollywood? THAT. IS FREAKING. REAL. More movie romances like that, please!!
     The acting was solid across the board, with a special highlight being Jeremy Irons. Irons is a complete badass throughout this thing, and steals every single scene. He was thoroughly enjoyable. The two leads, as I mentioned, are very believable teenagers in love. Emma Thompson as the villain, while hamming it up just a bit, was still great. The writing was actually fairly compelling, and the story was done really well, to the point that, towards the end, when non-specific spoiler-free bad stuff happens to the characters, you genuinely feel bad for them. Ethan and Lena's connection was so strong, due to both great writing and awesome on-screen chemistry.
     If there are any problems with this movie, they come with the end. Even though I just mentioned compelling things being involved with the end, the final battle scene as a whole is dragged out just a bit too long. Without spoiling anything, let's just say the situation they present could've been dealt with in half the time and still would have been worth it. It wouldn't have hurt the movie at all to shorten it. But, that's just a minor gripe and really the only one I have. Everything else is either great or, at the very least, passable.
     The question that comes to my mind now is, which one is the better supernatural romance: this or Warm Bodies? It's really two completely different experiences. Warm Bodies was goofy and charming, and, while Beautiful Creatures certainly had its charm, it had a much darker tone and took itself a lot more seriously. It's tough to compare the two, because they really are two completely different movies. What do they have in common? Neither of them even come CLOSE to being justifiably compared to Twilight. Beautiful Creatures was fun, intense, interesting, and it kept my attention fully the whole way through. I am pleasantly surprised to be giving this week's movie a VERY positive rating! Thanks for reading!! :D

The Melissa McCarthy Hour: Identity Thief Review

    So, apparently, when someone steals your identity, as long as they're from a different state, cops are completely powerless. They can't do ANYTHING about it unless the criminal is standing right in front of them. Now, if you believe that statement you just read, you are the target audience for this movie. Is that good or bad? Here's my review of Identity Thief.
    Sandy Patterson (Jason Bateman) is living a happy, content life in Denver, CO, with a wife, two kids, another on the way, and a cushy new VP job at stereotypical unnamed, non-specific business place. His life quickly starts going down the drain as he's informed of going well over his credit card limit and missing a court date in Florida, AKA halfway across the country. The reason? Enter Diana (Melissa McCarthy) a con artist who stole Patterson's information and is using it to do things like throw wild parties at the bar while simultaneously avoiding any and all criminal charges. Because of the dilemma I described in the first paragraph, Patterson is forced to go to Florida and bring Diana back with him to turn her in.
    Now, to those who have seen this movie, you may have noticed I left some things out of the plot description. I left out the part about the bounty hunter (Robert Patrick) who's after Diana for jumping bail. I left out the two criminals (T.I. and Genesis Rodriguez) who are after Diana for selling them bad credit cards. Why did I leave them out? Because they SHOULD NOT BE IN THE MOVIE!! I am sick to death of comedies trying to be way more complicated than they need to be. The basic plot to Identity Thief, albeit stupid, is rather straightforward. Jason Bateman tracks down Melissa McCarthy and has to take her back to Denver. She tries to escape, Bateman becomes wise to her schemes, and it becomes an adventure with them constantly trying to outsmart each other. It's a solid concept that could've worked for comedic value. Instead, they tack on these useless villains and yawn-inducing chase scenes that do nothing but pad the movie out, a clear indication of what little faith the writers must have had in the initial premise. These villains are uninteresting and are just there because they couldn't squeeze enough conflict out of McCarthy being a loud, drunken motormouth always screwing up Bateman's world. Speaking of which...
    This is my first real exposure to Melissa McCarthy. I keep hearing about what a really great comedic talent she is, so I sincerely hope this performance does not speak for her as a comedienne. I found her exceedingly annoying and impossible to root for once the movie started not-so-subtly telling me to do so. And her influence seems to be all around this movie. Jokes go on for FAR too long, and there are way too many instances where situations would go so much smoother if the characters just stopped running their mouths. The movie seems to think that if something is funny, then stretching it out or repeating it several times will make it funnier. Sorry, guys, try harder next time. And, as for Bateman...he's the same he's been in every single movie so far. Bland, sarcastic, and complaining about everything. You know his character from Horrible Bosses? From Hancock? Yeah...it's that guy again. Nothing new to report.
   Identity Thief is a prime example of everything NOT to do in a mainstream comedy, especially a road trip comedy. The jokes almost all fall flat, or start out funny then get dragged out to the point where you regret once thinking they WERE funny. The characters are either loud and annoying or Jason Bateman, neither of which is the least bit pleasant. The plot is extremely forced and ridiculous. Oh, and, not to mention that it basically ends up with a moral that lying and stealing is okay as long as your heart is in the right place (or you have a cheap, lazy "tragic" back-story thrown in at the last minute which serves no purpose). I don't understand how this film could have been handled in any way by people involved with both The Hangover and Ted, two of my all-time favorite comedies. It's a sloppy movie with horrible characters and little to no actual comedy to speak of. Overall, quite the waste of 2 hours. Thanks for reading!! :D
   
    

Warm and Fuzzy Zombies: Warm Bodies Review

    What pops into your head when you hear the phrase, "zombie apocalypse romantic comedy?" If you're like me, you either think, "This could be...interesting," because it really hasn't been done before, or you think of a cheap cash-in on the Twilight craze that's slowly (finally) dying down. Well, one of these is right on the money. Which one, you may ask??? Here's my review of Warm Bodies.

    In the midst of a zombie apocalypse, a zombie named R (Nicholas Hoult) joins his brethren on a daily, routine hunt for flesh. During their attack on a group of surviving humans, R falls for one of the humans named Julie (Teresa Palmer). He keeps her safe through the attack and sneaks her back to his home, where they begin to develop feelings for each other. It soon becomes a race against time as Julie's family and friends are looking for her, R's fellow zombies are ready to attack and eat her as soon as she's within view, and R is slowly becoming more and more human the more he and Julie interact. Oh, and, of course, wacky zombie antics ensue...of course!

    This was one I did not have high expectations for. I wasn't thinking QUITE as bad as Twilight. Instead, I placed it in that Michael Cera-type pool of an awkward teenager in a cardboard-cutout comedic situation with dialogue that's trying so very hard to be quirky, but failing miserably. What Warm Bodies does is take that concept I just described, and, instead of failing miserably, it hits ALL the right notes. Comedically, this movie works. On a romantic level, surprisingly, this movie works. The story, albeit a little corny, really does work.

    I really enjoyed our two leads. Nicholas Hoult actually does a really good job of showing an undead being who is honestly trying with every ounce of his energy to break through and be human, or at least interact with the human world. Teresa Palmer also pulls off a love interest who is comforting and sympathetic while also being skeptical of the whole situation. I also must give special props to Rob Corddry, who plays R's zombie best friend. Rob Corddry as a grumpy, somewhat bitter zombie...what perfect casting! He has very scarce dialogue, but the emotions and reactions he conveys through his eyes speak volumes about the man's masterful comedic timing. Corddry was a big, big highlight of the film. If there's any disappointment in this area, it was John Malkovich as stereotypical shoot-everything-that-moves army guy that can't be reasoned with. I was sick of this character back with Avatar! Can we please stop inserting him in every fantasy movie?!!

    Irritating Malkoviches aside, let's talk about story. I've heard the plot here described as "zombie apocalypse is saved by the power of love." And, while this is technically true, my argument is that it's all in the execution. Is it the strongest premise? Not by a long shot, but it's written and presented in a really interesting way. I'll put it this way. One word kept popping into my mind throughout the film: "charming." This movie is extremely charming. It's sweet, cute, and heartwarming with a dash of funny. It's not a straight-up comedy, but there's still enough comedic material to keep you smiling the whole way through. Mostly, as I said, it'll just warm your heart.

    So, in the same league as Twilight? Nope. A zombie laugh-riot like Shaun of the Dead? Far from it. But, what Warm Bodies does have is a likable cast, clever writing, and a cute, charming story about a girl and her zombie. It's not a must-see, but, if you're up for it, give it a watch. You may just be surprised with how warm and fuzzy you feel watching zombies be zombies. Thanks for reading!! :D