So, apparently, when someone steals your identity, as long as they're from a different state, cops are completely powerless. They can't do ANYTHING about it unless the criminal is standing right in front of them. Now, if you believe that statement you just read, you are the target audience for this movie. Is that good or bad? Here's my review of Identity Thief.
Sandy Patterson (Jason Bateman) is living a happy, content life in Denver, CO, with a wife, two kids, another on the way, and a cushy new VP job at stereotypical unnamed, non-specific business place. His life quickly starts going down the drain as he's informed of going well over his credit card limit and missing a court date in Florida, AKA halfway across the country. The reason? Enter Diana (Melissa McCarthy) a con artist who stole Patterson's information and is using it to do things like throw wild parties at the bar while simultaneously avoiding any and all criminal charges. Because of the dilemma I described in the first paragraph, Patterson is forced to go to Florida and bring Diana back with him to turn her in.
Now, to those who have seen this movie, you may have noticed I left some things out of the plot description. I left out the part about the bounty hunter (Robert Patrick) who's after Diana for jumping bail. I left out the two criminals (T.I. and Genesis Rodriguez) who are after Diana for selling them bad credit cards. Why did I leave them out? Because they SHOULD NOT BE IN THE MOVIE!! I am sick to death of comedies trying to be way more complicated than they need to be. The basic plot to Identity Thief, albeit stupid, is rather straightforward. Jason Bateman tracks down Melissa McCarthy and has to take her back to Denver. She tries to escape, Bateman becomes wise to her schemes, and it becomes an adventure with them constantly trying to outsmart each other. It's a solid concept that could've worked for comedic value. Instead, they tack on these useless villains and yawn-inducing chase scenes that do nothing but pad the movie out, a clear indication of what little faith the writers must have had in the initial premise. These villains are uninteresting and are just there because they couldn't squeeze enough conflict out of McCarthy being a loud, drunken motormouth always screwing up Bateman's world. Speaking of which...
This is my first real exposure to Melissa McCarthy. I keep hearing about what a really great comedic talent she is, so I sincerely hope this performance does not speak for her as a comedienne. I found her exceedingly annoying and impossible to root for once the movie started not-so-subtly telling me to do so. And her influence seems to be all around this movie. Jokes go on for FAR too long, and there are way too many instances where situations would go so much smoother if the characters just stopped running their mouths. The movie seems to think that if something is funny, then stretching it out or repeating it several times will make it funnier. Sorry, guys, try harder next time. And, as for Bateman...he's the same he's been in every single movie so far. Bland, sarcastic, and complaining about everything. You know his character from Horrible Bosses? From Hancock? Yeah...it's that guy again. Nothing new to report.
Identity Thief is a prime example of everything NOT to do in a mainstream comedy, especially a road trip comedy. The jokes almost all fall flat, or start out funny then get dragged out to the point where you regret once thinking they WERE funny. The characters are either loud and annoying or Jason Bateman, neither of which is the least bit pleasant. The plot is extremely forced and ridiculous. Oh, and, not to mention that it basically ends up with a moral that lying and stealing is okay as long as your heart is in the right place (or you have a cheap, lazy "tragic" back-story thrown in at the last minute which serves no purpose). I don't understand how this film could have been handled in any way by people involved with both The Hangover and Ted, two of my all-time favorite comedies. It's a sloppy movie with horrible characters and little to no actual comedy to speak of. Overall, quite the waste of 2 hours. Thanks for reading!! :D
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